Today I had to hero my dog because he had cancer and he hardly was able to breath anymore and to honor his life, he had with me and my familiy, i’d like to tell you ‘bit about him.
First of all, We got him somewhere near the bavarian woods, there where many of them and my mom told me to decide which dog we should take and i looked at them, as they ran around and came to me. All of them were attention whores, but there was one dog, who didn’t care about us at all. So I picked him. Compared to other dogs i knew, he was alrdy quite big for his age, but that comes from the fact, that he was a irish wolfhound. The first few weeks, until he got to big, he always slept with me in a bed, i remember that he always came to my room, licked my arm and wanted to sleep on the bed.
As he grew up we (my family and me) played a lot with him, with his strength he could have easily crushed my forearm bones, while playing around, but he was so sensible. My mum used to take him for walks and whenever I went out running or cycling I took him with me. He never was the type of annoying dog, he was quiet and cute. It made him so happy when we played with him or went out with him, when he could try to catch rabbits, when he could just be with us while watching tv or working in the garden. And whenever we left the house, I switched the radio on, to never give him the feeling of beeing alone.
God damnit, I alrdy miss those times, although I never was a perfect dog owner, I was inpatient and sometimes loud, but I hope he had a wonderfull time. He was there for me in bad times and he always cheered me up and whenever someone would sit at the kitchen table or any of us came home from work/school/holidays, he’d come and place his enormous head on your lap until you pet him.
We knew that he had cancer for about a week and I took those past few days to go out with him, although he couldn’t walk as fast as in the past, and I bought some steaks, one for me and one for him and we sat there in the evenings and ate our steaks together.
Today I drove with my mother to the veterinarian. I stayed with him as the vet gave him the first injection and I pet him to remember him that im here with him. And then the second injection was given and I placed a hand on his heart and as it got slower the look in his eyes faded away. This his heart stopped and I sat there, with my hand on his stopped heart, crying..
When I looked him in the eyes, I saw a soul, he wasn’t just some stupid dog, he was my friend and now he’s gone, forever..
I blame me for not spendin enough time with him, for being loud or impatient, for not going out with him. Because now he’s gone and I Won’t be able to spend time with him anymore..
So if you have a dog and if you love him, please pet him or hug him or give him something special today, just to show him that you appreciate the time you got.
I wrote this quite upset and crying, so if there are many mistakes, pls excuse…